Crush, Stamp, Crumple, Mash


thirty pounds after I accepted God’s deep and abiding love


My worship service began while driving to a woman’s conference last Saturday .

I was glued to the local Christian radio station, listening to a beautiful song by Francesca Battistelli when I heard the words:

I don’t need applause because I am adored (my paraphrase).

Whether I am famous or forever an unknown author, the Creator of the universe adores me.

Intellectually, I had known since I accepted Jesus as my Savior that God loved me, but it was not until he set me free of a 15-year-long eating disorder that I knew he adored me to the core of my being.

You are beautiful

I heard him speak to my heart the day I walked to the laundry room in my apartment complex.

But how can I be beautiful when I am 30 pounds overweight?

Crush, Stamp, Crumple, Mash

I heard the voice again.

You are beautiful to me. It does not matter what other people think.

After that “God Encounter,” my need to belong, to be included without going into robot mode, to measure up to the standards required by the churches I attended, decreased through the years. I settled into a more confident place. I also lost weight without dieting.

Toxic faith communities often do not teach this kind of intimate relationship with God because they are busy teaching man-made rules and doctrines that intimidate.

It took awhile to accept myself as God sees me: imperfect and adored.

I don’t need applause because I am adored


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